THE MONSTRUMOLOGIST by Rick Yancey

          My new absolute favorite horror series is "The Monstrumologist" by Rick Yancey.  I picked up the first volume as a free "advanced reading copy" from a library convention several years ago, and donated it to the school library. 

Pretty rad cover image, right? Puts one in mind of a "Cabinet of Curiosities"

          I thoroughly enjoyed the first volume, but it wasn't until I read the sequel, The Curse of the Wendigo, that I decided, "Okay, this is TOTALLY my new favorite series."

My review of The Curse of the Wendigo for Goodreads & Shelfari:

Even though I read very little YA lit, I read the first book in this series and totally loved it. This sequel just gets bigger and better, developing more of the complex themes and compounding the tragedy and poignancy. The writing is so poetic at times, subtle and artful. Weirdly enough, it's also some of the most gruesome and shockingly brutal horror I've read in a long time. "The Curse of the Wendigo" is about the Monstrumologist's search for a murderous creature with a penchant for removing its victims eyes and faces and doing "creative" things with them. Set in the late 1800s, the meat of the series is the incredibly complex relationship between the self-absorbed doctor ("Monstrumology," or the study of so-called monsters, being his specialty) and his 11-year-old charge Will Henry, whose father died while in the dangerous employ of the Monstrumologist. The doctor never officially adopts Will Henry, yet they have a powerful and multi-layered bond. The story is told from Will Henry's point of view, from journals found after his death, and his tale is truly heart-breaking, as his beloved doctor drags him into situations no child should endure. In this book Will Henry is presented with a terrible decision in a life-defining moment. I was riveted. The time period provides for some awesome set pieces and descriptions, plus cameos by notorious real life characters such as Algernon Blackwood and Bram Stoker.

Scary red Wendigo face!!!

          I would like to also add that Will Henry's painful yearning for Dr. Warthrop's love really pulls the reader in. Dr. Warthrop is so cold and analytical and demanding of poor Will Henry that when the doctor DOES finally show some glimpse of affection, it's practically heart-rending. Very effective, from a writerly standpoint. I catch myself making all sorts of embarrassing facial expressions when reading these books, gasping and blurting out, "Oh, no!" or, "Don't leave the baby in that creepy hallway!"

          You better hope you don't hear the Wendigo's voice calling your name on the high lonely wind... 

GO ASK ALICE (when she's wearing her white pants suit)

          Sometimes when a student is really effusive and passionate about a heavily issue-driven book, you have to pay attention and try to find out if the kid is trying to let you know that they themselves have (or are having) some of the same issues.
          Years ago at the junior high school we had a boy who was a library regular and he became really fixated on A Child Called It, which led to us discovering that he had been abused and neglected by his own mother.  Apparently she kept him locked in a closet for long stretches of time, as well as worse things.  Luckily the counselors already knew about all this and it was being addressed, but it helped that we knew, and could be part of his support network.
          A few weeks ago during our lunch-time library book club meeting, one of the girls was just on fire with passion about Go Ask Alice by "Anonymous."  She read us passages from it, and talked about what an impact it had on her.  She was almost breathless with emotion about the book.  The Librarian told us she remembers when it first came out and was very controversial because of the subject matter.  The book club kids asked why it was so controversial even for older teens, and I said something like, "Sometimes adults forget that kids are exposed to all kinds of things that we WISH they weren't," to which the girl replied quickly, "You have NO IDEA..." sort of under her breath.  Of course that made me go, "Hm..."

Go ahead.  Ask her.

          Most people are familiar enough with Go Ask Alice to know it's about teenage drug addiction, supposedly a real diary kept by a girl who lost her battle.  Because the publisher states that names and places had been changed to protect the privacy of the real families involved, it has to be kept in fiction.  Personally, I'm pretty sure it is TOTAL fiction, just based on very real issues.  But the publisher presents it like a real diary, which totally hooks the teens.

          I suggested the girl also read Jay's Journal, another supposedly real diary from the same publisher/editor.  As we were wrapping up our book club meeting, the girl implored me to read Go Ask Alice, saying she really wanted me to read it so we could talk about it.  How can I say no to that?  I checked it out that day, but it sat around at home for over a week since it's not the kind of thing I usually read.  I finally started it today.  I keep debating on whether or not I should worry about this girl's strong connection to the book.  Is there some kind of drama unfolding at home?  Or maybe she's just fascinated by the subject matter.  She's a good writer, and seems to like writing about the darker, grittier side of life. 
          Teens are tricky.  It's important to pay attention to them, but you also don't want to cause a fuss over nothing and embarrass them, so that they stop sharing things with you.

"Jay" is such a copycat.

          Go Ask Alice was published in 1971, and at first I was thinking the author had done a pretty good job being just vague enough with details about music, clothes, and movies to make it seem timeless.  But then I ran across a mention of "Alice" having her mother help her sew her own clothes for school.  Then she wears a "white pants suit" to a party, and I thought, "Oh, girl...."

          Then she puts her hair up with orange juice cans so it'll have just the right amount of curl at the ends.
          Aside from jarringly '60s/'70s details like that, I can totally see why this book appeals to teenage girls because "Alice" is quite melodramatic and prone to hyperbole.  Worried about boys, about popularity, her weight, her skin, her hair...
          I haven't yet come to the part where it all hits the fan, though.
          The next teen novel I need to read because of an adamant student recommendation is The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky, which I will probably easily relate to.
          (Not that I CAN'T relate to worrying about boys, popularity, weight, skin, and hair.)

Well, I like the chartreuse cover, so I guess I'll read it.

    

POETRY MONTH (late)

          Well, April was poetry month.  I displayed about 10 awesome and varied books on poetry right where the students sit at the computers, but none of them checked out. Either kids don't dig poetry anymore, or else there's just too much going on at school right now with all the state testing over the past few weeks. There was a TON of fiction checking out in April, but not poetry. At least I tried.
          I put up a giant rainbow-trimmed sign on the main bulletin board stating that it was POETRY MONTH. In one of my black frames I posted an excerpt from Maya Angelou's "Still I Rise," with a special banner dedicating it to all the Library staff in our school district because we're all feeling downtrodden and unappreciated from the budget cuts.  Here's part of the excerpt:

"Still I Rise" (excerpt)

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

          In the other black frame I put this fascinatingly strange poem by Charles Simic:

“The School Of Metaphysics”

Executioner happy to explain
How his wristwatch works
As he shadows me on the street.
I call him that because he is grim and officious
And wears black.

The clock on the church tower
Had stopped at five to eleven.
The morning newspapers had no date.
The gray building on the corner
Could've been a state pen,

And then he showed up with his watch,
Whose Gothic numerals
And the absence of hands
He wanted me to understand
Right then and there.

Clip-art cuckoo clocks and clock gears, with some question marks to indicate it's freeeaky, man.

REDUCTION IN HOURS : yet more cuts to the Library

          I assumed the budget cuts to the Library would stop at the Teacher Librarians being wiped out (High School District Fires All Librarians), but then all the Library Technicians got letters from the district saying our jobs "might" be affected.  Next thing you know, we all received yet ANOTHER letter giving us official notice that we're all being cut to 10 months.  I am currently an 11-month employee, so I will be losing an ENTIRE MONTH of pay.  Obviously this sucks Melvil Dewey's rotting balls.
          The letter itself is insulting because of wording like this:

"Because of budgetary restraints and workload changes..."
         
          -I have noticed no workload changes, at least not a DECREASE in work load.  I still have a lot of stuff to do all the time, and the library gets used more than ever.  Since I've been working in that library, we have INCREASED our circulation to about TEN TIMES what it was before.  I'm not exaggerating.

"...classified employees subject to layoff for lack of funds or lack of work..."

          -Lack of funds OR lack of work?!  They couldn't say it's DEFINITELY because of lack of funds, they had to leave it open-ended so it sounds like maybe we were just sitting around with our thumbs up our butts, with nothin' to do?

"Education Code... allows an employee to take a voluntary reduction in lieu of a layoff. You may elect to accept employment with a decrease in months..."

          -I love this.  It's so KIND of them to ALLOW me to take a "voluntary" reduction.  Apparently they aren't allowed to change your work hours without your consent, you have to be presented with an option.  So our option is either accept the reduction in hours, or be laid off.  The situation sucks all the way around, like a poop cake frosted with barf.  (Sorry.)
          Of course we're all checking the box that says we accept the reduction, and signing it, because what else are we gonna do?  I understand that cuts have to be made because things are financially grim, but they're already planning to re-instate some of the after-school sports programs they were pretending to cut, and I'm sure there are other areas that could be trimmed-- areas less vital to education than a fully-functioning school library.

BOOKMARKS (original art)

          We ordered about a million boxes of self-adhesive book pockets, to go with our new security system. In each box the two rows of closely-packed pockets are separated by a strip of cardboard that is the PERFECT size for a bookmark. I love drawing on cardboard because of the grainy texture and natural color, and the idea of recycling/re-using.

         

This one I think of as "Cthusie." (Cthulhu + Susie. Get it? Is it even funnier when I explain it?)

My husband asked me what their names are, and I don't know. I feel bad for the one on top, though.

EXCESSIVE LABELING BUMS ME OUT

Is there really a need for this?:

"OVER SIZE" labels.  Lots of 'em.

          In the library I work in, a previous Librarian had invested in these redundant labels for the larger coffee table type books in our collection.  The kind of books that you glance at and immediately think, "Damn, that's a big book!"
          I mentioned it to the current Librarian, pointing out the "OVER SIZE" label on an obviously gigantic book and saying, "No shit."
          She explained that one of her predecessors used to keep all the oversized books in a special "OVER SIZE" section.  I guess in case a student came up to the desk and said, "Can you please help me? I would like to check out the most unwieldy book you have," and then you could just point them to the OVER SIZE section.
          I'm trying to understand this, because it must not be as stupid as it seems. The labels must have seemed necessary so that student library aides would know to shelve them in the "OVER SIZE" section, right? Because without that label, they'd never be able to figure out which books are really big?
          This pisses me off because when the books are lined up on the shelves, the only way they have of catching a potential reader's attention is by their spines. If you clutter the spines with all sorts of stupid labels, it is UNATTRACTIVE. 
          We recently received some donated books from a defunct library in our district, and they were practically obliterated with labels. First there were the necessary barcodes and call #s, but these poor books also had color-coded reading level stickers, reading program labels, and/or genre labels. In some cases you honestly could not read the TITLE of the book on the spine, because it was covered in labels. No one would choose that from a shelf.
          I peeled every unnecessary label from those books, sometimes having to coat the offending labels in Windex or rubbing alcohol until they would release their hold. In some cases I even removed the necessary spine label so I could re-position it so it didn't cover the title. I also re-positioned a bunch of the barcodes on the back, so they weren't obscuring the plot synopsis, which is ALSO important to potential readers.
          STOPPIT WITH THE LABELS, people!

HAJJI BABA: beautiful yet savage old book

          I worked for five years as a Library Technician in the children's room at the Santa Ana Public Library.  I loved it there. One of the many benefits was being able to snag old books that were being discarded, and I ended up with some real treasures.
          One of those treasures is a book called The Adventures of Hajji Baba of Ispahan by James Morier, "with a profusion of pictures" by Cyrus LeRoy Baldridge.  (I love that phrasing)  The book was published in 1937 by Random House, Inc.  (The copyright date was printed in Roman numerals and I had to look up a guide on translating them because I've totally forgotten.  D'oh!)
          Check out the fugly cover, but don't let it fool you into thinking there's nothing good inside:

Purple paisley? It's in a lumpy plastic slip-case, too, with the barcode slapped rudely on the front. Gross.

          But inside it's full of adventure, magic, and romance from the Middle East.  Also lots of sexism and violence.  One of the short stories is called, "The Tale of the Baked Head."  It's labeled "YA," and at first I thought they were just being prude about it, when really it should have been in the children's room. But after going through it, I decided that yeah, it's on the mature side.
          There are many beautiful line illustrations in black and white, such as this rather alarming and unexpected one:

I will leave the interpretation of this image up to you.

          There were about fifteen full-color plates originally, but one was ripped sadly in half, and several others were missing entirely.  The ones that are left, though, are beautiful, and really captured my attention because of the rich colors and the sometimes bizarre images and captions.

"Doctor, mashallah! you have good taste! The animal is fine!"

 Pssst... check out the HUMAN HEAD floating in the water:

"More screams and cries ensued"

"Your eyes have made roast meat of my heart"

"What bliss is like to whisp'ring love?"

"The cat must come from under the blanket"

THE TWO CASKETS: Inspiration for Alice In Wonderland?

          There was an animated movie from my childhood that resonated with me enough to haunt me into adulthood.  I can't remember the name of it, but it was about a young girl who falls down a well to a magical fairy country.  I was a big fan of Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, so it makes sense that this story with obvious similarities would appeal to me.  As an adult I've made numerous attempts over the years to find information about the animated movie with the girl who falls down the well, but without remembering the title I've had no luck.
          Then suddenly yesterday a direct link to it fell right into my lap.

Lang was sort of a Victorian-era Grimm, collecting folklore from all around the world

          I have several new editions of Andrew Lang's color-themed fairy books, and once in a while I read some, or flip through them, just because they're fascinating.  I picked up The Orange Fairy Book and randomly flipped to a story called The Two Caskets.  As soon as I started reading and noticed the first illustration, I gasped.  Girl down a well!

"That is an end of you she said"  "But she was wrong, for it was only the beginning"

          I realized immediately that it must have been the inspiration for that mysterious movie, and furthermore the similarities between The Two Caskets and Alice's Adventures In Wonderland struck me. 
          Consider the phrasing of the falling scene in each story.  Here's the line from The Two Caskets:

Down, down, down went the girl--it seemed as if the well must reach to the very middle of the earth.

          And here's the line from Alice's Adventures In Wonderland:

Down, down, down. Would the fall NEVER come to an end! `I wonder how many miles I've fallen by this time?' she said aloud. `I must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth.

          In The Two Caskets, the girl discovers a beautiful and magical land where animals talk, and even inanimate things like fences and milk pails talk.  Alice also encountered lots of chatty things and animals.
          In The Two Caskets, the fairy country is referred to as the "under-world," and of course Carroll's original version of Alice's story was called Alice's Adventures Under Ground.
          Carroll's Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There is bookended by scenes of Alice with her kitten, who is playing with a ball of yarn.  In The Two Caskets, a bunch of talking kitties follow the girl around with helpful advice, and one of the girl's main tasks involves two balls of yarn.

She found sitting round her a whole circle of cats

          And speaking of those balls of yarn, the task the girl is set to accomplish is to go down to the stream and wash a ball of black yarn until it turns white and wash a ball of white yarn until it turns black.  This totally reminds me of the kind of nonsensical demands the Queen of Hearts makes in Alice's story, such as painting white roses red.  And the way this task is accomplished is that when the girl fails to manage it on her own, some talking sparrows fly by and yell, "black to the east and white to the west!"  So she dips each ball of yarn respectively in the stream to each side and they magically turn the requested colors.  Is it too much to compare this kind of nonsense logic to the whole "one side of the mushroom will make you smaller and the other will make you taller" thing from Alice?

Take the black take the black cried the cats

          But which came first?  The oldest copyright in my edition of The Orange Fairy Book is 1906, yet it's a collection of traditional folktales from around the world, gleaned from numerous different sources, which seems to indicate the story itself is considerably older than 1906.  The particular source noted at the end of The Two Caskets is Thorpe's Yule-Tide Stories, but no date is given.
          Lewis Carroll wrote Alice's Adventures In Wonderland in 1865, but if the Two Caskets story had truly been around long enough to be considered folklore, then maybe he was heavily influenced by it.
          I'm not into reading annotated versions of classic stories because I don't like seeing things dissected, so this is probably not news to people who ARE into that sort of thing.  But it was an amazing and fascinating discovery to me.
          But I STILL don't know the name of that old animated movie!  Dammit.

DISTRACTING AUTHOR PHOTO

          I never said I was nice or non-judgemental.
          Sometimes when processing new books, or when browsing books for myself at Barnes & Noble or Borders (dear, dying Borders...) I happen across an author photo that is just really distracting and seemingly at odds with the book itself.  This is unfortunate.
          We recently received this mysterious and cool-looking book called The Grimm Legacy, written by Polly Shulman.

Misty, sparkly, swirly, and intriguing

          As I removed the dust jacket so I could cover it in that clear plastic stuff (something I nerdishly REALLY enjoy doing) I noticed the author photo on the back inside flap:

The hat is bigger than the book

          Now, Polly...  The hat.  I just wish we'd talked about it first.  It's a very bold choice, and I feel that it overshadows the mood of the book.  I was interested in maybe reading the book until I saw this photo, and now all I can think about is that hat.  That damn hat. 
          Listen to this awesome description of the book:

          Lonely at her new school, Elizabeth takes a job at the New York Circulating Material Repository... no ordinary library.  It's home to the Grimm Collection, a secret room in the basement.  That's where powerful items straight out of the Brothers Grimm fairy tales are locked away: seven-league boots, a table that produces a feast at the blink of an eye, Snow White's step-mother's sinister mirror that talks in riddles and has a will of its own.

          That sounds awesome, right?!  But then I get trapped by that hat, and the rage it makes me feel.  Why do I have to look at it, Polly?  Why do you make me?
          When I Googled her name to get the author pic so I could use it here I saw OTHER pictures of Polly, without the hat, hair down, and she looks much better that way in my opinion.  Is this her FAVORITE hat?  Does it perhaps tie in with the book in some way unknown to me since I haven't read it yet, because the hat keeps me away? 
          It looks sort of like straw or something.  Did Rumpelstiltskin weave it magically for her?
          Maybe that's it, and she felt obligated to wear it for the author photo so Rumpelstiltskin wouldn't get pissed off.  That is what I choose to believe.

HIGH SCHOOL DISTRICT FIRES ALL LIBRARIANS: Libraries get totally RIF'd

          "RIF" stands for "Reduction In Force."  If you get "RIF'd" it means your school principal hands you a letter from the district saying that your position is likely to be cut the following school year.  There are plenty of times when RIF'd employees end up keeping their jobs because of improvements in a district's budget, but it's a serious warning.  The worse the economic situation is, the more likely it is that you really will be laid off.
          Today ALL 8 credentialed Librarians in our school district got RIF letters.  Our principal told the Librarian that if a certain tax initiative passes in June, then nobody gets laid off and it's back to status quo.  But if the initiative does NOT pass, then our district will ditch every single credentialed Librarian, leaving us Library technicians to run the libraries on our own.  Which will mean cutting a lot of the programs we do through the library because we just won't have the staffing for it.  No more book fairs, no more book clubs, no more library orientations, and less open hours overall.
          The Librarians get paid a lot (a LOT) more than Library techs, so why should I suddenly bust my ass even more than I already do for the same clerical pay, trying to do the work of two people?  If this cut really does come to pass, the district needs to feel the hurt of undervaluing its library staff.  If we Library techs are left without any support, why should we try to make it a seamless and painless transition?  If we do that, then the next thing you know they'll be cutting OUR hours, maybe cutting Library tech positions and making each remaining tech travel between multiple schools.
          I do not find it flattering when coworkers assure me that I'm capable of doing anything the Librarian is.  They say that because they WANT something from me.  If I'm that capable and appreciated, then whenever I do the job of the Librarian, I ought to get PAID the same as the Librarian.  But we're all (Librarians and Library techs) so busy desperately trying to prove our worth and justify our positions that we keep bending over backwards to show how awesome we are and how much we can do for everyone.  At some point our backs are going to break, man.  And nobody's going to thank us.  They're just going to be pissed off when they can't send their kids to the library.
          I think instead of waiting and hoping that tax initiative passes, we need to spread the word in our district that if they cut all our Librarians it will mean a very noticeable reduction in library services.  They cannot expect the CLERICAL library staff to continue doing our jobs AND pick up the slack of the credentialed Librarians for FREE.
        

READ YOURSELF RAAW : "Read Across America Week"

Read Across America Day is Wednesday March 2nd

Read Across America Week is Sunday 2/27 - Saturday 3/5 (I guess)

          When I was first introduced to "Read Across America Week," it seemed okay that they chose Dr. Seuss's birthday (March 2nd) as the official RAA Day.  Whatever, you know?  And in 2004 it was the 100th anniversary of Geisel's birthday so I understood why all libraries were overflowing with Dr. Seuss imagery and read-alouds at the time.
          But now when we library folk celebrate RAAW, could we maybe give Dr. Seuss a rest?  The idea is to support reading in every community across the U.S. during whatever week March 2nd happens to fall in.  I don't think the National Education Association's goal was really to make us all relentless publicists for Dr. Seuss, exclusively.  I don't think he needs the help.
          Also, and this is my BIG peeve-- not merely a pet but a roaring lion of a peeve-- when working with junior high and high school age kids, pushing Dr. Seuss is RETARDED.  They're a little BEYOND that, people.  Sure, it's fun and silly, and we can all enjoy a good picture book at any age, but I happen to think Maurice Sendak is better than Seuss any day.  Especially for grownups.  Seuss is twee and lazy.  Anybody can rhyme words they just MAKE UP.  Some of his stuff is okay, but Seuss does not deserve an entire week of worship every year.
          I try to make a point in the libraries I've worked in to highlight DIFFERENT authors and books during RAAW.  It's hard, though, because all of the official posters and crap are plastered over with Seuss's Cat In the Hat imagery.  They've become inextricable.
          My annoyance reached all-time highs when I was working at the junior high and a new and incompetent principal decided to make RAAW her "thing."  She went all out for it every year, dressing up like the Cat In the Hat, making her assistant principal dress as Sam I Am, and her counselors wear "Thing 1" and "Thing 2" costumes with big fright wigs.  She invaded our library and had a big "Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss" cake brought in, and served all the kids cake in the library while she read from one or two stupid Dr. Seuss books.
          I would like to remind you that this was at a JUNIOR HIGH, so of course most of the kids thought she was weird and lame, and only came in for the cake.  She made sure to get lots of pictures of herself in costume reading to the kids, though, and smugly thought herself a real hoot.          
          I would also like to mention that this same principal was directly responsible for removing a series of biographies about gays and lesbians from our library, and refusing to give them back.  This resulted in the ACLU filing a case against the school district.  I bring this up to make the point that she was a bitch who CENSORED library books that could have been really helpful and empowering to our kids.  She was NOT a real library supporter.  After the censorship battle it was even harder to grit my teeth and watch her parading around as the C__ In the Hat.   
          But back to the RAAW Seuss love-fest.  I was so against the dumbing down of it that I had a super pissy attitude during the "birthday party" in the library, and when the principal asked me to help serve cake to the kids I staunchly refused.  I had the biggest stick up my butt.  More like a totem pole with about ten snarling, cussing faces.
          The fact was that we had our own ideas in the library about how to celebrate RAAW and special AGE APPROPRIATE activities already in place, but that stupid principal just jacked the whole thing and took over.  And it's not like I don't know how to have fun!  I'm REAL f*ckin' fun.  But on my OWN TERMS.
          I'm at a different school now, with grades 7 through 12, and nobody foists Dr. Seuss and the Cat In the Hat on any of us.  They understand that NO means NO.  The principal will not be wearing a giant cat suit on March 2nd, and we won't be reading picture books to the kids or letting them grind cake into the library carpeting.
          I'll put a few Dr. Seuss books out (yes we have them), along with OTHER selections that are exciting to teenagers.  I'll use a few images of the striped top hat in my displays, as a nod to the Cat In the Hat, but I will also use OTHER imagery and ideas.
          This tirade came about because I was searching the internet for RAAW graphics to use on a bookmark we're making that will feature the favorite books of teachers and other staff members.  Of course I couldn't find ANYTHING that didn't feature Dr. Seuss crap, and look like it's for 3rd graders.  I did, however, find a treasure trove of online imagery of adults showing us exactly how WRONG things can go when enthusiasm meets bad ideas.
          Please enjoy a few pictures of adults who don't know the difference between "wacky" and "scary."  It's okay to laugh at these people because their photos were right there on the internet and they should have known better.

When I was a kid this would have scared the pee out of me.  Even just the crotch-hugging red pants, not to mention the rest of it.

         

Grim times in the library. Girlfriend had to make do with a fake PAPER hat. She does not look happy about it, and apparently didn't even bother to get dressed that morning?

The Crypt Keeper and a white-faced ghoul.  This is far more Nightmare Before Christmas than it is Dr. Seuss.

R.I.P. BRIAN JACQUES

          On Monday one of my Library assistants told me that Brian Jacques had died (on February 5th), and asked if we were going to do a display of his books.  I was like, "Oh, wow.  I'm glad I thought of that!"
          Brian Jacques is of course popular for the "Redwall" series, which is a multi-volume medieval epic about talking/fighting bunnies, squirrels, mice, and other cute animals.

The article I printed out is from School Library Journal

          In case you didn't know, Jacques is pronounced "Jakes."  Be cooler than the other kids and say it correctly.
          On the back side of the display I put out books by other authors who write in the "animal fantasy" genre.

Examples from our library:

The "Deptford Mice" series by Robin Jarvis
The "Dragonback" series by Timothy Zahn
Fire Bringer by David Clement-Davies (deer)
The "Firebringer Trilogy" by Meredith Ann Pierce (unicorns and griffins)
The "Guardians of Ga'Hoole" series by Kathryn Lasky (owls, recently made into a movie)
The "Land of Elyon" series by Patrick Carman (hyper talking squirrel and other animal friends)
The "Mistmantle Chronicles" by M.I. McAllister (squirrel)
Raven Quest by Sharon Stewart
The Sight by David Clement-Davies (wolves)
The "Silverwing" series by Kenneth Oppel (bats)
The "Swordbird" series by Nancy Yi Fan
The "Warriors" series by Erin Hunter (cats)

          Another obvious "Read If You Like..." title would be Watership Down by Richard Adams, but we don't have that in our library.  We should probably get it.
          I remember when I was a kid I read Felix Salten's (author of "Bambi") wrenching novel, Fifteen Rabbits.  Those poor rabbits' lives were so fraught with terror and death, and he wrote very convincingly from a rabbit's perspective about how huge and scary humans are, with our big mangling hands and loud voices.  My heart bled for those bunnies and I never wanted to imprison a bunny, guinea pig, or hamster as a "pet" again.
          I did not go on to Watership Down, or Animal Farm.  The "Redwall" books seem less likely to scar me emotionally, so I may eventually read one.

FEBRUARY GETS UGLY

This is my favorite part of the main bulletin board.

          When it comes to bulletin boards and displays, there's too damn much going on in February, and the color schemes are not complementary.  There's Valentine's Day (which is lame in real life, yet easy and fun to make displays for), Presidents' Day (February 21st), Chinese New Year (February 3rd), and it's also Black History Month.  Chinese New Year and Valentine's Day share the color RED as a common scheme, but the rest of all that crap ends up being an uneasy smear of browns and oranges if you're not careful.
          George and Abraham certainly were not fashionistas.  But I've done what I can.

           Don't ask me why David Sedaris is thrown in with the rest of these things.  I think one of our Library assistants suggested it, using the logic that Sedaris has that new book about squirrels and chipmunks, and Squirrel Day was on January 21st.  But then I just left him up there and stuck him with the bunnies for Year of the Rabbit.  I don't think he'd mind.

The main bulletin board in all its February hideousness.

          Behind the circ desk I created a little nod to Valentine's Day, complete with a romance genre poster.  Whatever.  That's one of those genres I cannot, nor will I ever, be able to tolerate.

           Having had a very recent conversation with a student about gay issues, in particular how tough dating/romance can be for gay teens, I thought it would be nice to make sure the Library was INCLUSIVE in its representation of Valentine's Day.  I spotlighted 2 books from our collection for each orientation: 
BOY + BOY:
The God Box by Alex Sanchez
Icarus In Flight by Hayden Thorne

GIRL + BOY:
I Heart You, You Haunt Me by Lisa Schroeder
Forever by Judy Blume

GIRL + GIRL:
Annie On My Mind by Nancy Garden
Keeping You a Secret by Julie Anne Peters

          Many of the kids have definitely noticed the display, especially the "Boy + boy" part.  Most reactions have been very positive, but the first day I put the display up one of the boys made a point to recoil and act freaked out, saying, "Boy plus boy?  Girl plus girl?  Wow, that's WEIRD..."
          I said, "What's 'weird' about it?" and looked him right in the eye, waiting to see what he'd say.  Another student standing nearby piped up, "Yeah, what's WEIRD about it?" which I thought was cool.  The boy stammered, "Nothing!  Nothing's weird about it.  Nevermind..."
          I thought to myself, That's right, bitch.

(Please ignore the unsightly stack of papers to be recycled at the bottom right)

           We needed to update our "Coming Soon" board, and like usual, even BEFORE I was done lettering everything the kids were eagerly asking about the titles.  The last Alex Rider (Anthony Horowitz) book is coming out in March, and I think 9 books in a series is quite enough.  Ranger's Apprentice (John Flanagan) is finishing with book #10 in April, and I think that's TOO many books.  But that whole series is wildly, relentlessly popular in our library.
          I don't think I could make it through a 10-book series now.  I've read some fantasy/sci-fi series as an adult that stretched to 5 books, and that seems like an accomplishment.  But these are smaller, teen-level books, so I guess it's different.  When I was still in elementary school I'd read all the Narnia books, all the Prydain Chronicles, and all 14 original Oz books by L. Frank Baum.
          So anyway, there's February.  The end.

ALA MIDWINTER 2011 JOURNAL

My publisher, Dan Vado, who never wears ties, at the SLG booth

          The day before I set off for a 2-day stint at ALA Midwinter I said to my husband, "Okay, I don't want you to think you're not welcome or that I don't want you there, but I think you would be really, REALLY bored.  This won't be like Comic-Con where there's something for everyone.  This will be LIBRARY in the butt and up the ass, LIBRARY wall-to-wall, no escape from LIBRARY," or something to that effect.

          He quickly decided to fore-go the trip.  I was relieved, because I knew I would want to stay until the bitter end both days, and would be unsympathetic to cries of, "I'm bored, I wanna go home!"
          I drove all the way to San Diego and back by myself both days like a big grownup boy.  I did not get lost, I did not cry.  I listened to the new Duran Duran album in my truck, then Courtney Love & Hole, then a Eugene Mirman comedy CD.

          At the convention I helped Dan, my publisher, work the SLG Publishing booth.  He explained that this was a "trade show," so we weren't really going to be selling anything, it was all about promoting new books, and giveaways to get Librarians excited about stuff.  (Nobody digs free shit like Librarians)  
           Speaking of free stuff, I am obviously a LIBRARY SUPERHERO because I returned home with 190 free books for the school library.
          It was a pretty small booth, but looked very nice, and we were right next to the Disney/Hyperion booth.  Because we're BFFs.  Anyway, at the SLG booth we ended up giving away 250 copies of "The Royal Historian of Oz" #1, and I signed most of them for lots of really nice, gracious people.  I used a green Sharpie a friend gave me, because that's appropriate in an Emerald City kind of way.

          I ran into a bunch of people I knew, such as two Librarians from my school district, some friends of friends who are big Oz fans, a bunch of people who work in the same public library where I had my first job as a Library Tech, and even a girl who saw a presentation I gave in Chapman University's Leatherby Library a few years ago.
          As well as signing my own comic book I was trying to be helpful by giving out SLG catalogs and hyping the other cool books they publish.  I made little tags for some of the books to catch the discerning eyes of Librarians.  Things like:

"Reviewed in BOOKLIST and Publisher's Weekly!" for Elmer by Gerry Alanguilan

"Listed in YALSA's Top Ten Great Graphic Novels For Teens!" for Pinocchio Vampire Slayer by Higgins and Jensen

"By Printz Award-winner Gene Yang!" (for some graphic novel I can't remember the name of now, but it's done by Gene and some other dude)  Gene won the Printz for American Born Chinese, which really is a great book, and deceptively simple until you get to the end and see how it all ties together so cleverly. 

This one is not published by SLG, but I GUESS that's okay...

"GIRL POWER! (Strong Female Protagonist)"  for Shadoweyes by Ross Campbell

"First graphic novel sold in Rock & Roll Hall of Fame!" for Punk Rock and Trailer Parks by Derf

          Gentle reader, wasn't that nice of me?  To help promote these other fine works of graphic novel goodness?  I think so.

RANDOM CONFERENCE HIGHLIGHTS:

*     John Shableski hung out at the SLG booth a lot.  He's the sales manager in charge of selling graphic novels to the book market for Diamond Previews, which is a really big deal if you know anything about comics, because they're THE distributor for the comics industry.  He was wearing a baseball cap that said, "LIBRARY" across the front of it, so I was nerdily jealous of that.  It came from the nice guys at "Unshelved," and although they didn't have any on hand, they said they'd send me one.  They did give me a little "Intellectual Freedom Fighter" ribbon to put on my convention badge.


*     I was signing comics for some people, and I noticed the guy who was next in line looked kind of familiar.  When he was asking me some very nice questions about Royal Historian and I was signing his copy, I noticed his name tag said "T. Jefferson Parker."  I was like, "Dude!  You're T. Jefferson Parker!  My mom and I went to one of your book signings, like, 15 years ago!"  In case you don't know, he's a very successful mystery writer.  Turns out he's really nice, too!


*     A serious-looking young man in professional attire got all excited when he noticed my name badge, and said, "You're Tommy Kovac!" in exactly the same way I had said, "You're T. Jefferson Parker!" earlier.  It was very flattering, and he was super nice.  He's read all of my comics, and even most of my zines!  I gladly signed a "Royal Historian" for him.  I really hadn't expected to run across anybody THAT familiar with my stuff.

          Since it was just the two of us running the SLG booth, Dan and I had plenty of time to talk about stuff.  He's trying to appeal to the Library/Education market as much as possible, and had this great idea to create study/discussion guides for some of SLG's graphic novels. He was talking about wanting to come up with a template, and I said excitedly, “Well, Dan, I’ve already DONE that for you!”  
          I grabbed a copy of my Skelebunnies graphic novel collection, which he had UNDER the table, because apparently it's so vile and naughty he was afraid it would spook the Librarians.  (It probably would)  I showed him the very last page, which is a “Teacher’s Guide To Using Skelebunnies In the Classroom.”  He seemed surprised, and admitted that he had somehow missed seeing that when we published the book.
          As he read it, he noticed that even though it's obviously a parody, I play it off very seriously.  
          By the next morning he had already started one for “Elmer,” using my Skelebunnies parody as a real template.  And you know I love that.

          We went to dinner Saturday evening after the convention hall closed down, at a funky little Chinese restaurant & bar.  Dan almost choked to death on this horrible Korean steak with kim chee. Violently coughed up a ball of it, and had to EXTRACT it from his throat with his fingers, the fermented cabbage (kim chee) making it look like he was giving birth to a Lovecraftian tentacle god through his mouth. Hideous. He was humiliated and kept apologizing, and I couldn't stop laughing. I told him that was the greatest gift he could have given me, to embarrass himself so in my presence.

(this is exactly what the coughed-up Korean beef looked like)

  
TOTAL LIBRARIAN MOMENT:

          In the lobby outside the convention hall they have kiosks set up at intervals where you can quickly grab something simple like a Diet Coke, a cookie, a cup of self-serve coffee or whatever.  The keyword is "quickly."  They're super stripped-down versions of Starbucks and Mrs. Fields, staffed by distracted teenagers and exhausted non-English speakers.  Little more than wheelbarrows with fancy umbrellas.
          My point is that you can't expect quality or service.
          I had scoped out a Mrs. Fields kiosk just outside the convention hall door from the SLG booth, so once in a while I would trot out there, ask for a Diet Coke or a cookie, and be on my merry way back to the convention.
          One time I ended up behind a birdlike, slow-moving librarian with frizzy hair. She was hovering in front of the kiosk with her awkward bags and purse, making it hard to tell if she had completed her transaction, or was just confused, or what.  What I did know was that she was in the fucking WAY, and I wanted to just get my Diet Coke and zip back into the convention.  
          Finally "Frizzy" began fumbling in her purse with some wadded up dollar bills and paid the poor kiosk worker, but not until after she had thoroughly questioned the total.
          Then Frizzy moved over to keep a keen eagle eye on the kiosk worker making a hot chocolate for her.  I was tapping my foot, checking the time, wondering how many free books I was missing out on.
          "Excuse me," Frizzy whimpered.  "Excuse me, is that my hot chocolate you're making?  Because it doesn't look very chocolatey..."
          The kiosk worker glared at her.  I glared at her.
          "Did...  Did you only put ONE packet of chocolate in?  Because it looks very light.  I like mine to be very chocolatey.  Do you think you could put another packet in?"
          The kiosk worker explained calmly that they only use one packet per cup.  That's just what they do.
          "Oh, really?  Only one?" Frizzy continued to whine.  "Because it just doesn't look very chocolatey..."
          Not really knowing what to say, the tired kiosk worker just handed the cup over, slowly, in silence.  Frizzy slumped away, and I was glad she didn't get more than her one allotted chocolate packet.

SAME TO YOU, BUDDY:
 

          Later in the conference, a creaky gray-haired man staggered over to the SLG booth and asked what we published.  We tried to explain "comics" and "graphic novels" to him, but he seemed slightly bemused, and mostly uninterested.  (Let me also mention that Dan has been in business with SLG for 25 years now.) The geezer turned his nose up at us as he began to lurch in the other direction, and quipped over his shoulder, "Well...  Hope ya make it."
 

GENRE : Dystopian fiction

          A Librarian friend and I have created (and presented a workshop on) a bunch of really great "Recommended if you like" lists, or "RIYL" for short.  We presented at the California School Library Association conference, and have continued to work on building our collection of genre lists.  We format them as double-sided bookmarks, with the genre heading and an illustration/picture on one side, and the list of titles on the reverse, and leave them out on the circ desk for students to browse through and keep.  What's really great is when you see kids keeping the bookmarks and checking off each title as they read their way through the list.  (Examples of some of our list titles: "Have You Mythed Out?" "Read the Movie," "RIYL Tim Burton," "Sugar and Spikes," and "Define Normal")

          When the English classes are studying 1984 they all start asking for books "like" 1984, which is a pretty specific sub-genre of science fiction, or rather speculative fiction.  It gets pretty sticky.  If you just do a general search in the library's database for science fiction, you get way too much, same with using "future" as a keyword.  I've started manually adding "dystopian fiction" in the cataloging records for any books that fit the bill, so it's quicker & easier to find them. 

          Here's an updated version of our Dystopian Fiction bibliography:


UTOPIA or DYSTOPIA?



What does the future hold?



The Diary of Pelly D by L.J. Adlington

Feed by M.T. Anderson

The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood

Oryx & Crake by Margaret Atwood

Fahrenheit 451 by Bradbury, Ray

The Roar by Emma Clayton

The Supernaturalist by Eoin Colfer

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

The Maze Runner by James Dashner

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep by Dick

Little Brother by Cory Doctorow

The City of Ember by Jeanne DuPrau

The Ear, the Eye, and the Arm by N. Farmer

The House of the Scorpion by N. Farmer

The Dirt Eaters by Dennis Foon

The Beach by Alex Garland

“Gone” series by Michael Grant

Among the Hidden by Margaret Haddix

Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

Epic by Conor Kostick

This Side of Paradise by Steven L. Layne

The Cure by Sonia Levitin

Fearless by Tim Lott

The Giver by Lois Lowry

Gathering Blue by Lois Lowry

Messenger by Lois Lowry

The Resistance by Gemma Malley

The Road by Cormac McCarthy

The Secret Under My Skin by J. McNaughton

Z for Zachariah by Robert O’Brien

1984 by George Orwell

Witch & Wizard by James Patterson

The Adoration of Jenna Fox by Pearson

Last Book in the Universe by Philbrick

The Forest of Hands & Teeth by C. Ryan

Unwind by Neal Shusterman

“Virtual War” series by Gloria Skurzynski

Truesight by David Stahler

War of the Worlds by H.G. Wells

“Uglies” series by Scott Westerfeld

The Bar Code Tattoo by Suzanne Weyn

Storm Thief by Chris Wooding

*All titles found in our Library*



          At first it was kind of fun, and I was finding plenty of books, but then I started noticing that there are numerous sub-genres of what I guess would fit under the umbrella term "speculative."  Things like post-apocalyptic, steampunk (all the rage now), etc.  And just because a novel is set in the future, does that automatically  make it utopian/dystopian?



          Even some English & Literature teachers have a hard time defining the parameters of general "science fiction."  I bossily intervened earlier this year when one of our English teachers claimed Jurassic Park was NOT science fiction because it's not set in the future.  She told a student he couldn't use it for a sci-fi book report, and since that teacher is a pal of mine, I emailed her several different comprehensive definitions of sci-fi from several different sources, to show that sci-fi isn't just future fiction.  Her reply was, "I think someone has waaay too much time on his hands over there in that library..."

          Which was funny, but unfair.  Isn't that the kind of thing we library people are SUPPOSED to care about?  Isn't that why we're here?  To be anal-retentive about literary details, definitions, and labelling?  (I have many thoughts & ideas on labelling.)  Anyway, she conceded the debate and let the kid use Jurassic Park, so...  I win.  Probably mostly because she doesn't really give a shit, as long as the kids are reading and comprehending.



          (And by the way, unfortunately I now feel compelled to work on a list of science fiction that deals specifically with genetic engineering, cloning, stem cells, etc. starting with Michael Crichton's books.)

          But back to dystopian fiction:

          I know everyone's batshit crazy for the Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins, and it's obviously THE dystopian teen series at this time.  I'm sure it's great, but the concept just makes me think of Battle Royale by Koushun Takami, which was originally published in Japan in 1999, almost a decade before The Hunger Games.  I haven't read Hunger Games yet, and I never will because I'm totally sick of hearing about it.  (Note: I did read Collins' Gregor the Overlander and totally loved it) 

          I'm sure what differentiates Hunger Games most from Battle Royale is that it's more palatable to teachers and librarians.

          Therefore, if I decide I want to read about teens having to battle to the death for survival in a harsh future, I will read the more controversial and possibly distasteful Battle Royale.  Because that's how I roll.



GRIM DAYS IN THE LIBRARY

          The first day of winter break one of our senior boys was killed in a car accident, along with his father.  It was around 5 am on Saturday, they were on their way to a speech and debate competition, and a drunk 18-year-old with only a learner's permit ran a red light and plowed into them.  Both father and son were pronounced dead at the scene, but of course the drunk who killed them was unharmed.
          The boy who died was a great kid who seemed genuinely nice and humble, and excelled at everything.  What happened was awful, and shouldn't happen to anyone, but he was so well-loved by the entire student body and faculty who knew him that it really sent shock waves through the whole school community.  I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like for his mother and sister, to lose both of them at once.  They were so stunned and unprepared for it that our principal and assistant principal had to help them plan and organize the funeral.  A Memorial Fund was also set up because the family (mother and sister) really need help now.  The father had recently cancelled his life insurance, and on top of that I heard he was the family's only source of income.

Oxford Academy Boosters Inc. - 
Douglas Uselton Memorial Fund
c/o Oxford Academy
5172 Orange Avenue
Cypress, CA 90630

          Our first day back to work we had an emergency staff meeting so our admin could debrief us on what happened and bring us up to speed, as far as fund-raisers and crisis response.  I found out about the tragedy the day after it happened from students on Facebook, but some of the teachers I spoke to were unaware until the emergency meeting was called.  We were introduced to a team of crisis counselors (about 6 or so) who have been here for the past two days.

           Since the counselors needed somewhere to meet quietly with kids, they're using the library and we've had to cancel two days of class visits, and keep it closed except for before and after school.

          It's been an awkward two days, with me trying to work around the counselors and grieving students.  The librarian hasn't been here, so they're using her office to meet with some kids, but that's also where I have my coffee pot and the refrigerator and microwave.  My breaks have been tricky.

          They are also meeting with kids at the back of the library, in two little reading nook areas we have set up on each side.  This morning I was trying to get some of the shelving done, which had majorly piled up since a ton of books were returned right after winter break.  But it felt weird creeping around in the stacks and trying not to eavesdrop on the students behind the shelves.  I could hear them talking quietly and crying.  It was making me nervous, and I kept fumbling the books I was shelving, dropping a few of them noisily.  I felt like an asshole, so I just said, "Fuck it," (to myself) and slinked back to my desk.  This is a very SMALL library, so it's hard to be inconspicuous and out of the way.

          I waited until the counselors were between sessions, and then quickly shelved the stuff closest to those reading nooks.

          To make things thoroughly miserable in here, the air conditioning is out of control and it's FREEZING.  Totally arctic.  It's a typical institutional set-up, so the air is usually blasting on cold days, and in the heat of summer it hardly works at all.  I don't usually feel the cold so much, because I move around a lot.  But right now I'm pretty much confined to my desk.  And I'd normally be playing my iPod in its little blue docking station at my desk, but I feel I probably shouldn't do that while there's grief counseling going on in here.  

          So...  I'm sitting here freezing in silence and trying to find stuff to do at my desk.

          I thought maybe I could use this time to explore the website for ALA Midwinter, which is this weekend, to figure out which things I want to make sure to see, but the school district's internet crapped out.  It's practically unusable right now.

          So here I sit, knowing that my ridiculously minor complaints pale in comparison to what that poor family is going through, wondering how it must feel to be so blind-sided by tragedy, and returning to my minor complaints because at least it's something else to think about.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

ALA MIDWINTER CONFERENCE!

          SLG finally confirmed that we'll be attending ALA Midwinter (booth #1903), so I'm totally excited.  Nerdily, bookishly excited.  I get to be a "creator" on Saturday January 8th, and sign my books for anyone interested.  I also volunteered to just work the booth, as a staff member, at least one more day.  Dan (my publisher) told me he'd be going alone to this, and would appreciate any help he could get.
          The side benefits for me are that I get in for free through SLG, which means I get to go around the exhibitor hall grabbing any free books I can for the school library.  And when I went to ALA before, they gave out LOTS of free books.  Which is great because we seldom have an actual book budget. 
          Having said that, we did just receive about $1600 total through two different sources, but that was unexpected and certainly not something we get on a regular basis.  And anyone who buys for a library, public or school, knows that doesn't go as far as it sounds.
          Now I get to check out the ALA website and find out if there are any exciting authors scheduled to be there, in case I want to be a fanboy and get signed books or something.
          This will be the first time SLG has shown at ALA, so Dan asked me if I had "thoughts" about it.  I responded immediately with a bossy list of suggestions.  How to display, what to display, etc.  I also suggested he come up with a flyer highlighting some key books, with all the order info.  And I said I thought neon lights and small fireworks would be a nice way to draw attention to MY books.  But I was just kidding.  Maybe we could just put my books on some sort of platform that rotates slowly.  Under a spotlight.
        

MOTHER GOOSE : racist bitch?

          While working in the junior high library about a decade ago, I happened to discover this tarnished gem called Mother Goose's Nursery Rhymes, published in London in 1924, by Adam and Charles Black.  (I'll refrain from making an obvious joke about the publishers' last name, but you may do so if you wish)  I idly flipped through a few pages and luckily found the following illustration:

(Click to enlarge and read the charming caption)

          I think I probably said, "Oh, SHIT!" to myself, and took it straight to the Librarian.  But not before showing it to all of my teacher friends.  I think most people of my generation and older ones are familiar with the "Ten Little Indians" rhyme, which seems offensive enough by today's standards, but this may have been the precursor.  I wonder if it was changed from this version to the Indians version, to make it seem less offensive?  Or maybe there are various versions of this rhyme, one to offend everyone.  "Ten Little Homos" anyone?

It's just vile, right?  I mean, seriously.  WTF?

          Of course we immediately pulled it from the library's collection, and I do NOT feel bad about that.  Maybe I would have thought harder about whether or not to remove the book if it were found in a high school library, because older students would hopefully be mature enough to understand it in a historical context, and might even be able to use it in some kind of report on changing social perspectives or whatever.  But in the junior high library I think it would have the potential of hitting some poor kid like a punch to the gut.  Either that, or they'd read it and then punch ME in the gut, thinking I endorse that kind of thing.

          Apparently even way back in 1924 the Brits who published this book realized some of the content might be a little... edgy.  From the very last paragraph of L. Edna Walter's introduction:

                    If one or two of the rhymes strike a modern ear as
                    being somewhat crude, it must be remembered that they
                    are old, and it was felt that they ought not to be omitted
                    from so comprehensive an edition.

WHAT EVERY LIBRARY WORKER LIKES TO HEAR

          One of my favorite students recently got to take an all-expenses-paid trip to Abu Dhabi, because she applied to NYU's campus there, and made it through the first level of screening.  (http://nyuad.nyu.edu/)
          She brought me back this lovely postcard, with a sentiment written on it that totally made my week.

A postcard from the student's trip to Dubai, although she was staying in Abu Dhabi



          The sentiment reads:
          "Dear Mr. Kovac- Thank you for being a fellow bibliophile, sharing your theories on bibliotherapy, and being a good friend.  And once again, thank you for the beautiful cover art!"

          The cover art she's referring to is an illustration I did for the cover of the school paper's December issue.  She's the Editor-in-Chief, and had asked me to be a "guest cover artist."  :)
          And if you don't know what "bibliotherapy" is, Answers.com defines it as:

A form of supportive psychotherapy in which carefully selected reading materials are used to assist a subject in solving personal problems or for other therapeutic purposes.