POISON IN MY LIBRARY

#1 in the "Song of Ice & Fire" series

          I have a weakness for epic fantasy of the Medieval kind.  Kingdoms at war, court intrigue, all of that.  Of course I LOVE George R. R. Martin's Song of Ice & Fire, but since the next book in that series is taking FOREVER to be completed, I've been on the hunt for other big honkin' door-stopper dark Medieval fantasy novels.

#1 in "Kingdoms of Thorn & Bone" series

          Gregory Keyes' Kingdoms of Thorn & Bone had me on the edge of my seat.  I read all 4 books in the series one after the other.  Then I discovered Tad Williams' Shadowmarch, and read the first 2 books, now waiting eagerly for the 3rd in paperback.

#1 in "Shadowmarch" series

          I'm such a sucker for stories that begin with brutal royal assassinations, followed by the heirs of the kingdom having to go on the run as fugitives.  All the better if one of the princesses, not some douchebag prince, reveals herself to be tough as nails and most fit to eventually rule the kingdom.  The antithesis of the Disney Princess syndrome.  And I like magic in SMALL doses, thank you.  Nothing crass or hokey, please.

#1 in the "Acacia" trilogy

          Which brings me to Anthony Durham's Acacia trilogy.  Probably the closest thing I've found to Martin's Song of Ice and Fire, and I don't mean that it's a rip-off.  It's epic and masterful and I can't wait to get my hands on the 2nd book, The Other Lands.  By the way, each of the books I'm talking about here average 800 pages, which is a requirement for me when it comes to dark fantasy epics. 

#2 in the "Eyes of God" series, but the BEST cover illustration ever, right?

          Now I'm totally engrossed in John Marco's trilogy: The Eyes of God, The Devil's Armor, and The Sword of Angels.  I've finished the first two, and will have to obtain the last one soon.  I know it's super nerdy, but I find it really awesome that the focal point of the kingdom in Marco's series is a giant LIBRARY.  Wars are fought over it, partially because of what a library stands for, and partially because of a mysterious and revolutionary "cataloging machine" built by the Librarian.  (It just figures that even in fantasy fiction people only get pro-active about the library when technology is involved.)  Plus there's a magic city across the desert where the crippled and deformed obtain miraculous powers from long-dead spirits with the help of a midget called The Witch of Grimhold.  How cool is that?  Well, I mean it's cool if you're a fantasy nerd like me.
          Toward the end of the second book in the series I ran across the following line that sells the whole thing, as far as I'm concerned.
          "I think you've brought poison into my library, Baron Glass."
          That one line is all I need to be totally hooked.  And I wish MY name was "Baron Glass."

I HAVE STRONG FEELINGS ABOUT THE INJUSTICE OF HORRIBLE COVER ART

          In the Santa Ana Public Library Children's Room way back in the sepia-toned 1990s, I discovered an old copy of Rosemary's Witch by Ann Turner, published in 1991.
          I was instantly entranced by the lyrical, melancholy poetry of this small yet powerful novel.  It's really beautifully written. Turner portrays the witch, Mathilda, with a keen sense of aching loneliness.  Almost every line is graceful. For example, the first few lines of the book:

In the smoky blue-green hills of summer, where the phoebe calls and hawks sail lazily overhead, is a town called Woodhaven.  That is where it began.
   It was a town like a hat someone had thrown away for being too plain, for not having bird wings on it or bobbing strawberries.

          Then in the following chapter, when we're introduced to the witch:

She found the cottage one day as she flew low over her woods.  Mathilda almost missed it, the black, rotting roof hidden by two pines.  She settled slowly to earth and walked in.
   "Home."  The word squeezed out.  The edges of her mouth flaked.  "Home," she creaked.  Not a cave.  Not a dark, wet hole in a rock.  She sighed.

          Later, Mathilda finds an old ragged doll by the stream, under a rock.  It's faceless, and the stuffing is mostly gone.  Mathilda cradles it, cleans it, and stuffs it full of moss and pine needles.

   "Doll."  Her mouth hurt.  "Who left you-- there?"  Abandoned.  Left alone.  Cold winds and cold rain on the doll's face.  Dogs nosing her.  A cold rock her roof.

          How could I not love this book?!  It sent chills through me, and I never forgot it.  Flipping through it now, I even think it influenced my own writing.  At least it made me want to TRY to write something that nuanced and evocative.
          The copy I read was hardback, and had a moody cover that I wish I could remember better.  I think it had a ragged, faceless doll, and maybe the hazy form of a withered old woman behind a dirty window. I KNOW it was better than the picture on the stupid paperback, which I recently picked up for $1 in a used book store.
          I had brought book donations in for credit, which is the sad way we get most of my library's "new" books now.  I was so excited to find this subtle diamond of a book that I bought it even though the paperback cover looks like this:

Totally looks like The Babysitter's Club Halloween Special #368

          This craptastic Scholastic cover in NO WAY reflects what this book is really like.  It pains me.  I even searched online for a picture of the old hardback cover illustration, just to make myself feel better, but couldn't find it anywhere.  Maybe it's not even as cool as I remember, but it's certainly better than the one above.
          I plan to really push this book now that it's ready for checkout.  I will keep displaying it, and talking it up to the kids I think will appreciate it. 
          Especially during October.

BACK TO SCHOOL NIGHT (do I HAVE to???)

The answer is yes.

          Our Back To School night is tonight, and just yesterday my principal emailed me to say, “The library will be open for Back To School Night, right?”
          I thought, “Crap...” But I wrote back, “Does that mean you’d LIKE it to be open?”
          So of course she wrote back, “Yes, I think that would be nice.”
          I sarcastically referred to myself as “Your Humble Library Servant,” and she responded by signing off as my, “Grateful Master.”
          The trade-off is that I get to leave early on Friday, which is a nice carrot to dangle before my scabby pink nose.
          But today I will have spent THIRTEEN HOURS at work by the time I leave. Hello, Baby Jesus? Are you watching? I hope so.
          So here I sit.
          Back To School is when the parents have to go class-to-class, meeting all their kids’ teachers, so there’s not really free time left for the library. But having said that, I’ve already had about 20 kids in here (mostly 7th graders), and several parents, and it’s not even half over. I’ve even been checking books out. So... you know, whatever. I guess being here won’t KILL me.
          I’m processing new books. A bunch of Kerouac one of the teachers donated. That was exciting because being a college prep school with some angsty philosophers, I’ve been asked for Kerouac before, and been empty-handed.
          WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE:
          Just had a chatty father in here. He’s a nice guy, and came to my last signing at a local comic shop (promoting issue #1 of The Royal Historian of Oz) with his daughter and son. His daughter is now my 3rd period Library Aide. He wanted to tell me he read my graphic novel, Skelebunnies, and thought it was really funny. That happens to be my filthiest work to date, and I WARNED him when his daughter came up to me at the signing with it, but he said it was okay. I signed it, “I’m terribly sorry for all the horrible things you’ll see in this book.” For example, my parody of Hello Kitty/My Little Pony, which is called “My Little Penis.”
          And now that poor girl is my Library Aide. But she’s cool enough not to be scared. Or scarred.
          Her father said she was excited to get to be my Library Aide. I had her doing non-fiction inventory today for a full hour, which is tedious, and she didn’t even complain. She gets bonus points for that.
          45 minutes left of Back To School Night.  Sigh...
          One of my teacher friends is telling her new little 7th graders that I’m a writer/artist, so they’re coming in and asking me about it. Since I’m not in self-promotion mode when I’m at work, and I’ve been at work for ALMOST 13 HOURS STRAIGHT, I’m kind of slow to respond. I’m like, “Oh, well, yeah. I write and sometimes illustrate comics.”
          (pause)
          The tiny 7th graders stare expectantly while I continue methodically putting clear contact paper covers on the new paperbacks. I finally catch on.
          “Oh! Did you want to see some of them?”
          So I show them Wonderland and Royal Historian, which are the only 2 school library appropriate things I’ve done. We do NOT have Skelebunnies in the school library.
          I notice a kid reading my hand-made poster explaining the “spine label” and “call number” of a library book. Good. Every child should learn what a call number is.

          The attendance clerk just called me, and apparently two of our parents' cars were broken into this evening, right across the street.  This shit just got real.  Is Back To School Night over, yet?!

THE AMAZING BONE

          In the 1990s I worked in the Children's Room of the Santa Ana Public Library.  I LOVED it there.  One of my favorite author/artists I discovered in the picture book section was William Steig.  (He created the original Shrek picture book, which looks nothing like the movie)
          The Amazing Bone was my favorite of Steig's works.  It's the story of Pearl, a dainty piglet in a cheery spring frock who finds a magical talking bone that's fallen out of a witch's basket.  The bone is so awesome it manages to save Pearl from robbers, and a hungry fox.  But I won't tell you how, you'll have to read the book.

(Keep your mind out of the gutter)

          Sometimes I ended up in charge of Children's activities, such as showing the old (barely-)animated film of The Amazing Bone to a bunch of kids in our Storytime Room.  The entrance to the Storytime Room was painted to look like the drawbridge of a medieval castle.  Bitchin', right?  Anyway, this old film cracked me up because Pearl the pig was obviously voiced by a man, and the pacing was very slooow and drawn out.  The best line was some part where Pearl is in peril and moans, "Oh, Bone..." in this really overwrought way.
          My best friend Julie (our Young Adult Librarian) and I used to make fun of that a lot.  Actually, we still do, when applicable.  Julie even made me a special bookmark from the cover of a discarded copy of The Amazing Bone.
          But "The Amazing Bone" has a dual meaning for me (I thought I said to keep your mind out of the gutter, that's not what I'm talking about!) because I also think of my favorite library tool as "The Amazing Bone."
          What is this marvelous library tool?  Why, it's a "bone folder," used when putting the mylar covers on hardback dustjackets, and also & especially used to smooth out air bubbles when applying clear contact paper to paperbacks to make them sturdier and more impervious to wear.  This simple bone folder is amazing and mysterious.  Is it really made from whale bone?  No one knows.  (Well, I don't know, and I'm the only one here.)

"Oh, Bone..."

          The Library Bone makes the most perfect, crisp folds, and makes contact paper glide on like silk.  Sometimes I can't find my Library Bone, and I curse and rail at God until it appears again.
          This brings me to another fond memory from those public library Children's Room years.  An older librarian, Jane, had been working on something that required a bone folder, but apparently she couldn't find it.  So, being from an older generation and rather naive, she moved slowly back and forth in our work area, asking everyone, "Have you seen the boner?  I can't find the boner.  Does anyone know where it is?"

THE FUTURE OF LIBRARIES

          I received a Facebook message from a former student asking me for help on a presentation for one of her college classes. The subject was "School Question." The message read:


Hey Tommy! I have to do a short presentation on the future of public libraries for one of my classes on Wednesday. I wanted to just ask you what you thought about the current library situation (for example: cutting back on days, not providing as many books, etc) and what direction they will be going. Also, your views on the same situation but for school libraries.

The deformed narwal's inability to turn the book's pages, due to its lack of appendages, represents... um... the library's inability to provide adequate service due to lack of funding & staffing.

          I wrote her back right away, typing furiously because of course it's something I really care about. I told her I think it's a shame that libraries are so under-valued. It doesn't matter how many books we check out, how busy we are, what an awesome program we have going, none of that seems to translate into funding. I know things are pretty much the same for public libraries, too.
          Julie and I were just talking about how neither of us (she's a public library Director) have an actual book budget, and have to depend on donations and grants, and any other "special funding" we can drum up to buy new books. Every year we have to get craftier and craftier. It's not like there aren't many new books being published! The Young Adult market is exploding all over the place. How are we supposed to keep up?
          We almost had some Librarian positions cut this year, but an old dude retired, so the district just left that position open, and didn't lay anybody off. But that means the Librarian I work with will now have THREE schools to bounce back-and-forth between, instead of just two. I'm by myself two to three days a week as it is.
          Oh, and even though they keep cutting library staffing and funding, they still expect the same level of service, and the same quality and quantity of materials. It's very frustrating.
          I know we're a vital part of the school. There are even times every week when we have to put out the "library full" sign. The most we can handle at one time is 40 students. (We have the smallest library in the whole school district)
          Tomorrow is Back To School night, and I've been asked to keep the library open for it. I guess I'll put a big box on the counter that says, "HELP! Please donate!" and beg for money all night. Maybe I should wear rags, and smear some coal on my face.
          As far as what direction I think libraries are GOING...
          I fear it will be more of the same over the next couple of years, if not worse.
          Maybe the problem is that we library workers are too solitary and too meek. Especially solitary in the public school system, since we're literally by ourselves most of the time, and others have little or no idea how much we actually do. And many library workers tend to be quiet and uncomplaining. Do we need to complain more? Do we need to continually march up to the office and loudly gripe about how many kids were in the library that morning, and how the phone kept ringing, and all our "other related duties" (lost-and-found, lockers, computers, copier, etc)?  Sometimes I get a little sick of hearing the 3 main office ladies bitch about how so-and-so doesn't want to help out on the phones, or so-and-so isn't good about taking her break on time, or whatever.  There's THREE of them up there, and ONE of me in here.
          It's like how the Republicans usually get their way because lots of them are louder and meaner than most Democrats.
          I have allowed myself to go on a bit of a tirade here, I guess.  I did not write all this in response to that former student's question, I swear!

COMING SOON

Gotta keep things fresh in the 'brary.

          When I started working here I thought it was weird that we had this big Whiteboard right behind the circulation desk.  Then eventually we found cool ways to use it.
          The "Coming Soon" wall is very popular with our students.  We highlight the series they're most frantic for.  They check the Coming Soon wall all the time, and let me tell you, we'd better have these books the DAY they're released.
          The most annoying part of maintaining it is figuring out the series #.  For some reason a LOT of teen and YA series don't want to make it CLEAR what # each book is.  I'm assuming it's a marketing tactic, so readers don't get put off by a book clearly marked "#9" or whatever, if they haven't read the 8 ones previous.  Anyway, sometimes I have to check Amazon and even the author's website before I find the #.
          Our students very specifically want to read series in order, starting from #1.  When I was a kid, I didn't mind reading #3, then backing up and reading the first two.  I thought it was kind of cool, almost like turning them into prequels.

THOSE GIGGLES WOULD DRIVE HIM CRAZY

          Because of our lack of any book budget I try to get my coworkers to donate their books to our library.  A teacher friend of mine just brought in two giant bags full of science fiction, all hardback.  Some of it was totally awesome vintage stuff, which I immediately covered with those nice mylar book jackets. 
          My favorite is Science Fiction of the 30's, compiled by Damon Knight, copyright 1975 Bobbs-Merrill. 

          It collects stories and illustrations originally published in the 1930's.  A lot of the illos are lame and/or too dark, but I found one that's a keeper.  It's from a story called "The Mad Moon," by Stanley G. Weinbaum.  Here 'tis:

The captions read: (L) "Get Out! Beat it! Scram!" he shouted at the giggling, gibbering creatures-- (R) The great, idiotic heads, the silly grins, and giggles--those giggles would drive him crazy.

          I'm keeping that one for myself.  It's too fragile and cool.

CATEGORIES>BIBLIOGRAPHY

          I'm so excited.  While processing new* books so they're ready on Monday for the first day of school, I discovered that in Alexandria's "Items" window, if you click on the Categories tab you can put a bibliography heading/title in the "Bibliography" field.  This changes EVERYTHING, man.
          I love creating and maintaining bibliographies, and I make bookmarks with them, small enough to print 3 per sheet on regular-size paper.  But that means I can only fit so many titles per list.  I have a few "expanded" lists (sci-fi, and horror), which I do a tri-fold thing for.  But that takes up a whole sheet per list.
          I really like doing unusual subject lists, like, "Recommended if you like Tim Burton," or "Read the Movie," or "Frequently Challenged and/or Banned Books," but those subjects aren't going to already be in the MARC records.
          This is why the "Bibliography" field I discovered is exciting.  For example, I was processing a copy of David Brin's The Postman, so I put "Read the Movie" in the Bibliography field.  That's a new list I'm working on, and I can tag as many books as I WANT with that heading!  And at any time I can call up a complete bibliography just by typing "Read the Movie" in a keyword search.
          Trust me, this is RAD.

*Most of them aren't really new, they're donated.  Because we have exactly $0 for a book budget.  But at least they're new to us.  And I clean them and put protective film over the covers.  

2010-2011 SCHOOL YEAR

Another school year is about to begin & the library is ready...