The following is a guide to my ferns, with brief commentary.
Fern #1 is my favorite. Prehistoric and lush, it stands guard at our front door. I don't even care if the other ferns KNOW Fern #1 is my favorite.
Fern #2 is the newest. It's a "Mother Fern," according to the little card thingie. It's delicate, leafy, and just an all-around dear. (And yes, that's a Chihuahua leg on the right.)
I would like to give Fern #3 the "Most Improved" award. It's had some hard, brown & brittle times over the past year, lurking there by the front steps, beaten down by the harsh sun. But I don't give up on it. No, sir.
I mean, it's not my FAVORITE, like Fern #1. But it's nice.
|(Fern #3's fernhole)|
Fern #4 is kind of a disappointment. I mean, I've TRIED. God knows, I have. It started out in Fern #1's pot and location, but just couldn't handle it. Didn't THRIVE. Know what I mean? When I dumped it out of the pot in favor of the more robust and charismatic Fern #1, I almost just dropped Fern #4 in the trash. But I'm not a monster. So I gave it another try at the back of the house, in the shade.
It keeps withering, though, like a bitch.
I suppose there's a bit of hope, though, because right now it's on the upturn. Could it be a candidate for "Most Improved" for next year? Possibly. But it better really step up its game with the leafy, and the prehistoric, and the frondy.
The Asparagus Ferns at the base of the blue gazing ball in front of the house are like the Borg in that they share a hive mind, which is why they are collectively "#5." They are tough and green and lanky, no matter how much direct sunlight they get. I don't know why I don't consider them "my favorite," like Fern #1. Maybe it's because I'm a little wary of them.
#5 is hardy, and thrives on little attention.
Full sun? No sweat.
Scant water? Fuck you, Human, I/we don't need you anyway.
Am I/Are we creeping a few feet closer to your front door? Maybe so. Maybe you better watch your back.
SOME OTHER FERNS:
Fern Gully was an animated movie about a rain forest that came out in the 1990s. I did not see it.
|Best-selling romance author, Fern Michaels|
Fern Michaels writes romance novels, and I've read none of them. The dogs look nice, though.