IN THE DREAMHOUSE: Deathrock Buffalo

          Anthony and I went to see "Paranormal Activity 2" last night, and it was fun and thrilling like a rickety carnival "Scary Ride."  I had really weird dreams, but I don't know if they had anything to do with the movie.  Not obviously, at least.
          I dreamed I was in an art class and we were assigned to make wearable T-shirt designs.  Part of the direction was that it had to be something we ourselves would actually wear.  People were making all these awesome designs, but they turned into more than just drawings, they were like collages and sculptures with all sorts of mixed media.  One student was making a highly-detailed Alice In Wonderland design based on John Tenniel's illustrations.  It was a fun arty classroom, the students all chatting happily, but the desks were so close together you had to actually crawl over them to get to yours.
          I drew a highly-detailed deathrock buffalo with two sets of really wicked horns.  It made perfect sense in the dream.
          Anthony and Matt were there, and during a break we went over to this place next door that was selling refreshments.  I got a weird ticket for coffee, but somebody else grabbed my coffee.  I was really pissed, and showed the vendor my ticket.  She said she needed to see the debit card that was used for the purchase in order to give me my coffee, but Anthony had paid for it, and he was back in class.  (Which, by the way, had turned into a movie theater.)  I was ENRAGED, and demanded my coffee and caused a big scene.  There were other students in line watching, people I'd gone to high school with.  I overheard one of them say to Matt, "Boy, I don't remember him being like that back in high school..."
          Eventually I had to crawl under a chain link fence (still part of the same environment), and was in this rad field that was an obstacle course of giant furry muppet-like creatures.  All different colors and shapes, with giant google eyes and raggy yarn hair.  They were all bobbing around, and gravity seemed to be mostly absent in the field, so I ended up bouncing off of one giant creature to the next, on my way through the course.
          On the other side of the giant Muppet obstacle course was a rocky lagoon, cloaked in mist.  I was swimming for an outcropping, and dragging myself up the ledge to get out of the water when a half-man/half-seamonster rose out of the water to attack me.  He was NOT sexy or anything.  He was green and slimy, with claws and spines and scales.  Somehow in the dream I knew that if he bit me, I'd turn into a monster like him.  I groped and kicked my way up the rocky ledge, with him right at my heels, sharp teeth snapping.  I just barely made it onto a small platform of rock, like a shallow bowl of water that I could slide safely into.  As threatening as the monster was, the color of the water itself was this amazingly beautiful sparkling green-blue.
          Toward the end of my dreams I was in a slightly-off version of our condo, with another element of obstacles.  I don't remember what they were, but I had to be very careful to step OVER them.  Anthony and Esther were curled up cozily on a small divan.  When I went over to sit next to them, Anthony teased me that he and the dog had just gotten comfortable and there wasn't ROOM for me.  But he was just teasing, and scooted Esther over slightly, to make room for me.  I think my dreams ended there. 

CLEANING UP THE NEIGHBORHOOD

          I am sick and tired of seeing ladies wearing track suits "speed-walking" purposefully down the street.  I hate their track suits, I hate their visors or perky pink baseball caps, I hate the way they swing their arms high, like they're just DARING someone to get in their way.  The smug look on their faces says, "I lead a healthy lifestyle!  I am an active and energetic American!  I have a positive attitude!  I'm doing something proactive!"
          This morning on the way to work I kept glancing at myself in the rearview mirror and wondering why I look like shit, and just exactly what the fuck my hair is doing.  I'm wearing tan pants that make me feel super fat, but I have no choice because that's all that's clean right now.  I was running late, feeling haggard, and then I spotted two ladies speed-walking jauntily down the street.
          Did I mention I also hate it when they come in pairs?  Because I do.  Something about the way they chat enthusiastically, marching and twitching in stride. 
          I noticed that one of the women I saw this morning was carrying a long stick, occasionally jabbing it at something on the ground, without breaking stride.  It was one of those trash pokers, and she was collecting street debris as she bustled along, cleaning up her neighborhood.  I thought, "Well, isn't that NICE."
          I really wanted to swerve and demolish her AND her friend, which would have been MY way of cleaning up the neighborhood.

WORD OF THE DAY

"Tatterdemalion"
Definition: n. A person wearing ragged or tattered clothing; a ragamuffin.
adj. Ragged; tattered.

A NEW SAYING

Here's a phrase I woke up with, bouncing around in my head:
"Don't poop your tutu."

It would be used thusly: "Hey dude, it's just a spider. Don't poop your tutu."

WANNAMAKER

The other night at Mom's house, Dan asked Anthony the origin of the last name "See," which started a casual little conversation about name origins. My mom nonchallantly mentioned that her maiden name, "Wann," was most likely shortened from "Wannamaker."

I felt blind-sided. I'm sure no one has ever told me that before. For some reason I was left reeling from this info, and it keeps bouncing around in my head. I remember finding out when I was a teen that "Kovac" was Americanized by dropping the "h" from the end, so it was originally "Kovach." That seemed like stunning, fascinating news at the time. But the difference between "Wann," and "Wannamaker" is even BIGGER. WTF?!

The name "Wann" always seemed so unusual and interesting. "Wannamaker" is pretty cool, too, though. I know this isn't as weird as finding out you were adopted, or that your father isn't really your biological father or something, but names are IMPORTANT. I just can't believe nobody ever thought to mention this before!

So I actually come from the Slovak "Kovach" family, and the French/American Indian/etc "Wannamaker" family. Not sure how this affects my life, but I'm sure it's important.

SURGICAL

The other morning when I opened the library, one of the students walked in, looked down, and said, "Um... whose inflated surgical glove is this?"

Sure enough, there it was on the floor, like a bulging powder white udder. I said, "I KNOW that was not here last night when I left."

I don't know what the hell happened in there overnight, but I jammed the inflated glove into the small trash can under my desk. I didn't have the heart to pop it.

DONUT LADY

Oh, mysterious Donut Lady.
The way you confuse me with your broken English, but most of all
the way you insist you recognize me
from long ago...
You claim I used to come in with my mother when I was very small
But I don't remember that at all. My mother preferred bakery shop pastries.
I cringed as I walked through the door this morning with my baggie full of quarters
a poor man's donut fund
As feared, you insisted once again that you remembered my mother and me
This time, though...
This time you dropped a few details, such as
I am an only child
My mother keeps her hair short
(Both true)
Could it be, Donut Lady?
Could it really be that you are a face from my past, once forgotten
but discovered again?
Or is it just that all Gaijin look alike...?

SICK

The library was filled with sneezing, coughing, nose-blowing kids the last few days. So much so that it creeped me out, like I was in the plague ward of a hospital. Last night I woke up wheezing at 1:30 am with a seriously runny nose (it meant business), punctuated by occasional sneezing and coughing. Fuckin' sucks, man. By 3:30 am I was making a trip to CVS to get Zyrtec-D. Anthony was awake, too, with his usual insomnia. Having to put on shoes & socks and a jacket in the middle of the night and make a cold foray into the outside world is totally bogus. There were only 3 visible employees in CVS, none of them paying attention to me, or even willing to feign customer service. I thought about rewarding myself with a candy bar from the front counter, but felt too weary to eat it.
Called the automated absence line at 5:00 am. Then I dragged myself in here to the computer, figured I'd better email Marilyn to her home & work email, warn her that I'm out sick. Hope she doesn't run around like a librarian with her technician cut off.
In other news, I just found out yesterday that one of our teachers got nasty with a female student, and is at least getting fired, possibly going to jail. It's a particularly messy scandal since this teacher happens to be married to another teacher on our campus, and they have 4 or 5 kids, one of them with Downs Syndrome. Also, apparently there was some weirdly inappropriate situation going on since last year, in which the female student in question had been temporarily living with this teacher and his wife, and I'm not sure why. They were "tutoring" her or something, but obviously he ascribes to a very broad definition of "tutor."